Christmas and relationships: the survival guide

Christmas is one of the most anticipated events of the year, for adults and children alike. But, however well your family get on together, it can also be one of the most stessful times of the year because we all want it to be perfect. But unexpected events can often throw a spanner in the works.

Relationship expert, Lesley Brewer, has these simple tips for helping your relationship survive the festive period.

What do you want?

Decide what sort of Christmas you really want. This is time off work, so think of it as a holiday. You would usually plan a holiday and put exciting things in the diary that you both want to do – so do the same with Christmas.

Presents

Ask each other way beforehand how significant “the present” is to each of you. To some it will always be THE most important part of Christmas, whereas to others it’s a trial/waste of money/competitive.

If the present is definitely meant to signify the depth of your love for one another, often a low-cost experience with lots of thought can touch the heart more than diamonds ever will. So think about things such as a piece of poetry personally written by you, wrapped up in a pretty box with bows.

Get outdoors

Spend time outside and that goes for all the family. Even if it’s howling a gale, wrap up and go go go! Taking a walk or generally being outdoors will get rid of pent up energy and irritation leaving you all feeling calm and peaceful – and it also walks off the mince pies!

Give and take

Each of you should agree to do one thing you really don’t want to do – such as visiting the relations. But you have to do it with a smile knowing full well that your partner is going to have to reciprocate!

For the boys

It’s inevitable that preparation for Christmas will fall on the shoulders of the woman of the house. Let’s be honest, she’s probably got far too much on already, so why not earn brownie points by sharing the load.

You could even stump up for a day trip to a spa two weeks before the event. She would love the fact that you have acknowledged how stressed she might be and made her feel really loved.

Spend, spend, spend?

Money may well be tighter than ever this year so don’t be a martyr – why put yourself under extra pressure in the New Year? Explain the situation and say “for this year we will cut back on…”

Change is as good as a holiday!

You don’t always have to do what you have done every year. It’s good to change things as it keeps things fresh. Doing something completely different might be a shock to the family’s system but they will get over it, just let people know you are having a change this year.

Be a kid

Surround yourselves with the young children in your family, get down on the floor at their level and play games together – many of us have forgotten how much fun it is to be a child.

Plan ahead

Either take it in turns to be designated driver – or failing that if you can’t agree, stay over – much more fun!

Honesty is the best policy

Be honest with each other and, above all else, make sure you find time to laugh together.
Lesley Brewer is a relationship expert and runs The Introduction Company in Brawby, near Malton, in North Yorkshire. Tel: 01653 669430

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