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ECO-CADET SEEKS GUIDANCE…

Thursday is recycling day round our way… so, having collected and stored a rancid rotting pile of soggy cardboard, plastics, tins, paper, glass (always far too many wine bottles, which I am utterly convinced someone must add to…) in to various recommended (expensive plastic) recepticles - which often overflow on to the floor or nearby shelves transforming itself into some sort of macabre Damien Hirst decomposing art du jour, and leaves the kitchen smelling of old cat food - the worst, most bile-inducing smell ever (even though I wash out the tins). I then proceed, once a week, to shift the foul mountainous booty on to the street outside.

Everything has to be sorted in to its correct coloured bag and/or box, as for some reason our recycling folk have deemed it beneath them to touch anything that is not presented beautifully and in the correct manner - they also have taken it upon themselves not to bother to pick up any stray recyclable article that might have escaped its alloted bag, which has bitterly encouraged me to believe that are they seriousy think they can actually take an ‘even higher’ moral ground than us evil planet-destroying folk who produce such waste in the first place…

The day after recylcling day the street is invariably littered with more empty milk containers, crisp packets and tin cans that you can shake a non hardwood, renewable stick at…

As if there is not enough crap to deal with… but we have to do our bit for the planet, turn off the tap in between cleaning your teeth spits, only flush the loo for number two’s (bit hard core that one, but not unusual). Buying ludicrously overpriced ‘fairtrade’ produce, eco-friendly washing powder to put in with our 40 degree wash, that hasn’t a chance in hell of touching the stains that wreak havoc on a three-year olds clothes, then go to bed turning everything off standby, and extinguishing the energy-efficient light bulb that takes three minutes to come on, and never quite seems to reach it’s full potential… It is only then that we can truly allow ourselves to sleep the sleep of the righteous…

If anyone has any tips at all on how to make recycling any simpler, or even just a little less stressful and hazardous to general kitchen cleanliness and nasal passages… this trainee eco-warrior needs you!

And finally..

A BIZARRE RANDOM FACT…
Le French Government recently announced plans to implement a tax on disposable picnic items, including plastic bags, disposable dishes and cutlery. The new tax, dubbed ‘le taxe picque-nique’ is modelled on a Belgian law that came into effect a year ago and is part of the government’s efforts to encourage the public to buy eco-friendly products…

Tags: Politics & The World